Donut Day

Woke up this morning, packed up camp, and located the Newark Diner. It looked promising: an old passenger car standing still, in stubborn contrast to the stream of cars pouring in and out of the Dunkin Donuts next door. Eating local is always a gamble, but the odds are very much in your favor. A service business usually strives to please the customer. Not this one.

This was one of those places where a culture of masochism and sloth has managed to take root and ensnare a local crowd willing to endure its afront to food and service in order to make it their clubhouse. The ‘Belly Filler’ I ordered–two eggs, home fries, toast: $1.99–looked bland and tasted like metal. I knew it wouldn’t be enough to fill me, so I also ordered the ‘Texas French Toast’–two meager slices of toast that would enrage any Texan: $3.19. I quickly dispatched both plates along with my lone, never-once-refilled coffee, as I listened to the weird triangulation of a girl named Bee taking place between two total strangers, one who used to date her and one dating her now. The used-to had seen her Jeep outside and wondered in looking for her, and the waitress called over a regular, the now-dating, who’d driven it there. No introductions were made. They launched directly into a meager and thinly-veiled pissing contest over their respective associations with the girl named Bee.

I quickly finished, paid, did not tip, and walked my bike over to Dunkin Donuts, where they gave me a free donut with my cup of coffee.

Did you know it’s National Donut Day?

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One Response to “Donut Day”

  1. Steve Says:

    I’m kind of sad that I missed National Donut Day.
    You should have cursed that liberal yankee toast and muttered something about the war of northern aggression. Damn Texans.

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